What I should have said, but didn't

Today I attended a service at the Masonic Temple in Nashua, NH to say goodbye to a dear friend I’ve known most of my adult life. During this beautiful service that was packed with family and friends, many people got up and told a story about Sue. Some were quite funny, many were inspirational. I did not get up to speak. Many may be surprised, but I can't speak when I am sad. Today I was heartbroken. Even if I could speak, so many wonderful memories of Sue spun in my head so fast, I wouldn't have been able to catch one if I could. 

Working with Sue was not only an everyday life lesson, it was often a lot of fun. The “bulk mail parties” at our enormous wooden table, lunchtime talks over Greek salads at our favorite Greek Restaurant, Andros, the Public Hearings, the bowling matches, Founders Days, Christmas parties, the Changes of Command – all of it. So many wonderful memories and learning experiences!  She was a great, strong lady who would do anything for anyone.

If I could have found my voice today, I would have told her family that not a day went by when Sue would talk about  them. All of their accomplishments or just a mention of their names if even if nothing was going on. She loved them all so very much and she was enormously proud of each of them and said so every day. 

Sue was there for many of the important moments in my life. She attended my wedding shower and my wedding. She came to my baby shower and came to my house to visit me when I had Rachel. I still have the cap and gown Teddy Bear that she gave me when I graduated college. And oh by the way, she made me go to college and was there waiting for my grades at the end of every semester. Failure was never an option – it was good grades or else!  So many more moments than there is space to write. Suffice to say she was a very important part of my life. 

I didn't stand up today and tell a story. Not because I didn't love her, but because I did love her. So much so words could not be found to express it. I know she understands and hop that everyone else does too.